Dagens tjuvlyssningar

After two-hour lecture on Charles Darwin:

Student: Yo, professor?
Teacher: Yes, Phyllis?
Student: That Charlie -- he da man!
Teacher: Indeed! Charlie is the man, Phyllis! Excellent!

-Queensborough Community College


Conductor: To the person who lost a roll of cash held together with a rubber band, come see me. I found the rubber band.

-A train, 59th St


Thug on cell: I don't know where I was, but they's Germans everywhere in this hood! They on my left, right. Damn! [Looks around anxiously] Now I know how Patton felt, son!

-14th & Driggs